by Spencer B.

Nobody has ever truly understood another person before understanding themselves, because it is impossible. There is a great deal of uncertainty that comes with leaving the inner workings of your mind unexplored and wandering. You are left in a trance-like state, observing what is happening in your life, observing choices that you are making and watching time pass, without ever actually living.

Heath L. Buckmaster wrote, in a book titled “Box of Hair: A Fairytale”, “Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be”. Once you learn how to trust yourself and let yourself live how you are meant to, no insecurities, no boundaries, and no worries of what someone else might think of you, you will start to really see what life has to offer you.

Self-honesty is such a powerful tool in this process as well, for you can’t make any progress without honesty. Once you see what exactly it is that your true self wants to be able to do, the only thing that can stop you is yourself. At any given point in your life, you can can be either your worst enemy or greatest ally, depending all on how you view yourself.  

Starting off by getting comfortable with yourself is a very important first step. Beyond personal growth and development, understanding and loving yourself will make the people you surround yourself with reap benefits as well. They will start gaining more out of their relationship with you, and they might even see something in you that inspires them to make the lifestyle changes that they know they should have made a long time ago. In this manner you begin to start seeing yourself as a light in others’ lives. You become a gift that keeps on giving, and in return you become not only more and more aware of your strengths and unique traits, but also why those traits are powerful and not crippling.

You must first know what love is in order to show it, just as you must first love yourself before you may love anyone else. A quote by Ayn Rand perfectly sums this up; “To say ‘I love you’ one must first know how to say the ‘I.’ The meaning of the ‘I’ is an independent, self-sufficient entity that does not exist for the sake of any other person. A person who exists only for the sake of his loved one is not an independent entity, but a spiritual parasite. The love of a parasite is worth nothing”. You must become comfortable with yourself in order to become comfortable with your life. Don’t let yourself get in your own way.